The Beloved (Sung Kim)
In Good Company
In last week’s sermon, “Platoon”, we learned that in order to mature in the Lord and develop a healthy fear of the Lord, we need a peloton around us.
But often, we don’t know what kind of friends we should have or should be.
Three Don’ts When it Comes to Getting a Peloton
- Don’t gather a “Bad Peloton”, instead, get a Good Peloton together: “Do not be deceived: Bad company ruins good morals.” (1 Corinthians 15:33 ESV)
- Don’t covet other pelotons, instead start seeing the peloton God gave you as valuable: “…having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.” (Philippians 2:3 NIV)
- Don’t just study together, instead submit to one another’s views and gifts: “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” (Ephesians 5:21 NIV)
Instead, let’s focus on what kind of friend we should be to others and who we should have in our pelotons.
In his book, 11
The two we want to focus on today are the Editor and Encourager (Nathan and Barnabas).
Nathan, the Editor
Nathan’s name means “a gift from God,” and he was a court prophet for King David. Len Sweet says that having a Nathan draws you into deep reflection and repentance.
It is Nathan who reprimands and convicts King David for committing adultery and murder. (2 Samuel 12:1-7).
The Lord sent Nathan to David. When he came to him, he said, “There were two men in a certain town, one rich and the other poor. The rich man had a very large number of sheep and cattle, but the poor man had nothing except one little ewe lamb he had bought. He raised it, and it grew up with him and his children. It shared his food, drank from his cup and even slept in his arms. It was like a daughter to him. Now a traveler came to the rich man, but the rich man refrained from taking one of his own sheep or cattle to prepare a meal for the traveler who had come to him. Instead, he took the ewe lamb that belonged to the poor man and prepared it for the one who had come to him.” David burned with anger against the man and said to Nathan, “As surely as the Lord lives, the man who did this must die! He must pay for that lamb four times
Then Nathan said to David, âYou are the man!â
Much like David, we don’t have self-awareness. We need people who will expose us to truths that we want
“Nathan is less about pointing a finger than parting a curtain.”
Because the truth is, we are worse than we think and better than we think. But we don’t know that truth about ourselves by ourselves.
“Then David the king went and sat before the Lord.” (1 Chronicles 17:16)
Nathan is an Editor because he/she is helping you get back to your True Voice, back to the narrative God has intended for you to live. A Nathan in your life says essentially, “This isn’t who you are, you aren’t ____. You need to snap out of it, sit before the Lord and consider your ways.”
âRather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into ChristâŚâ
– Ephesians 4:15
In order to become a Nathan, we must build truth and respect and learn to love our friends and want the best for them.
But the reason we might not have Nathans around us is because we don’t want to be a Nathan to our friends. We often care more about harmony than holiness.
Barnabas, The Encourager
The name Barnabas means “Son of Encouragement,” and comfort (Acts 4:36). He is first mentioned in Acts when he sells his land and gives the entire profit to the apostles for the sake of the gospel. He was also Paul’s missionary companion.
Len Sweet describes Barnabas this way, “Barnabas is an encourager, not an embalmer. Some people will embalm you in flattery. That’s not Barnabas.”
A Barnabas:
- Cheers and celebrates. Doesn’t compete with you
- Co-labors
- Is compassionate toward your pain, struggles and weariness
- Calls you and is thinking of you.
- Calibrates you back to God’s will and reminds you of who you are.
“One of my spiritual friends has been in my face and by my side.”
– Klaus Issler
In order to grow into the head, which is Christ, we need both confronter (Nathan) and a comforter (Barnabas). Or as Pastor Bryan illustrates, the two hands of friendship: The Fist and the Palm
Together, may we “grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every join with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.” (Ephesians 4: 15-16)
Pray this with us this week:
For those of us who feel alone, may God provide us friends to comfort.
For those of us who are unknowingly proud, may God provide us friends to confront.
For those of us who are surrounded, may God be glorified in our friendship.
And may we all grow up into Christ, our Savior.
Amen.
You can listen to the sermon In Good Company f
All images and materials are copyright protected and are the property of EKKO Church unless otherwise noted and credited to their maker. Please do not copy or distribute without permission.
In Good Company
How to Ask Prompting Questions // January
Have you ever had the same conversation over and over again with the same person? You’re always scratching the surface with them but never going deeper. You have the same conversations about work, relationships, parenting, etc. Every Ekklesia gathering feels like you have the same talks.
There seems to be a lot of empathy going out on your part and a lot of vulnerability on their’s, but you see little transformation.
As an Ekklesia Leader, how do we help people take the necessary steps towards a transformed life? A life that looks more like our Lord?
The one question we want our members asking themselves at Ekklesia is:
How is my life with God?
But this needs to be drawn out. We have to go into their boats and take them deeper by asking them better questions. The one question we as leaders should be asking ourselves is:
What has God planted in this person and how can I help cultivate it?
How to ask prompting questions that allow us to go deeper:
Informational (I)
What are the facts? (Objective)
These are very straight forward questions that help us identify the truths in Scripture.
Transitional (T1, T2)
What speaks to you? What resonates with you?
Why does this truth speak to you? (Subjective and Contextual)
Transitional questions are what make the Bible study because this is the place where people will begin to share their stories and be vulnerable. This is where you learn about their pains and struggles. You are now asking why a particular truth speaks to them.
Transformational (T3, T4)
How would you live if this were true in your life?
What can you do this week to apply this truth?
If transitional questions are what make for a great Bible study and discussion, transformational questions are the key for Christ-centered living. This is the place where the practices of Jesus should be implemented and where testimonies are born.
Further Resources:
The Vision for Ekklesia Leaders
In December we had an Ekklesia Leaders Thank You Lunch to celebrate the year. Pastor Bryan also charged us and gave us a clear vision for our role as Ekklesia Leaders. If you are ever in doubt or are confused about your role, this is a foundational teaching for us to refer to and be inspired by. Enjoy!
As an Ekklesia Leader, you may not know what your role is.
What is expected of me?
What role do I play in the life of our members?
We often donât know what our role is as an Ekklesia Leader or we donât know what is expected of us. So what is our role and how do we execute?
Biblical Vision of an Ekklesia Leader
âI will talk to the Father and heâll provide you another Friend so that you will always have someone with you. This Friend is the Spirit of Truth.â – John 14:16-17 (Message)
We are called to be spiritual friends. A spiritual friend is someone that invites Jesus as the third person in the relationship. Aelred of Rievaulx says,
âYou and I are here, and I hope that Christ is between us as a third.â
To be a spiritual friend is to be aware and attentive to the Holy Spirit at work in all of us.
Most of our members struggle with a faith that is a weak and a life that is lonely.
The pastors and staff at Ekko are called to equip the Body of Christ with tools, resources and teaching so that our members can become strong in their faith. But the pastors and staff canât do it alone. They need Ekklesia Leaders to journey and walk alongside the church. Together, we do the work of the ministry. But how do we do this?
How to be a Spiritual Friend
+ We Ask prompting questions rather than answering questions.
+ We are Attentive to the Holy Spirit rather than just being accountable to one another.
+ We walk Alongside people rather than go ahead of them.
Ekklesia Leader Mission Statement
Many Ekko members feel lonely and lost. Thatâs why Ekklesia Leaders have been sent to ask prompting questions, be attentive to the Spiritâs work, and walk alongside them, so that they can belong and become the person God intended them to be.
Platoon
In Paul’s letter to the Ephesians, he reminds us rather pointedly, that God wants us to mature: “… so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes.” (Ephesians 4:4)
Peter O’Brien explains in his book The Letter to the Ephesians that spiritual children are “unstable, lacking in direction, vacillating and open to manipulation… Like small, rudderless boats, they are tossed back and forth by the waves and driven this way and that by prevailing wind… various religious philosophies which threaten to undermine or dilute the apostolic gospel.”
So why do we remain like “children”?
Pastor Bryan explains that we are often unable to become strong and mature in the Lord, because we don’t curate and cultivate Gospel-Centered friendships.
We refuse the Body of Christ.
Much like children, we say, “I can do this myself,” before spilling a cup full of juice all over our laps.
O’Brien continues: “The use of the plural ‘children’ (with its implications of individualism) stands in contrast to the one ‘mature person (manhood)’ who is a corporate unity.”
Or, in simpler terms, there is no such thing as a mature Christian. There is only a mature Church.
We cannot mature by ourselves, for ourselves. It takes a body, a tribe, to be mature in Christ.
So God’s cure for immaturity, our weak and rudderless realities is: A Tribe and a Team of Leaders.
Spiritual Friends are the cure to our weak faith in Christ.
Aelred of Rievaulx breaks down friendships into three categories: Carnal, Worldly, and Spiritual. He writes, “Let us call one friendship carnal, another worldly, and the third spiritual. The carnal is created by a conspiracy in
“You and I are here, and I hope that Christ is between us as a third.”
â Aelred of Rievaulx
So how do we know if our friendships curve toward carnal or worldly? There are a list of descriptions that have been adapted from Joanne Jung’s book The Lost Discipline of Conversation that help us to determine if our friendships are ones that will help us mature in Christâor won’t.
- Less reading and studying the Bible.
- Less memorizing Scripture.
- Less seeking God.
- Less spending time with other believers.
- Less interest in those outside the faith.
- Less thinking and understanding of biblical truths.
- Less praying for others in and outside the church.
- Less praying in a group with other Christians.
- Less confession and asking forgiveness of God.
- Less conviction toward obedience to God.
- Less involvement in church responsibilities and ministries.
- Fewer significant relationships with Christians.
- Fewer conversations with Christians.
- Less attending worship services.
In order for a friendship to be spiritual, it must be disciplined and intentional. Which means, if we want to grow, we must curate and cultivate gospel-centered friendships.
We need a peloton.
A peloton is a group of riders formed during a cycling race to help the rider in the center win for the whole team. They practice together, they are of one mind and hope. The job of the peloton is to surround one rider to reduce wind drag and help the main rider have enough energy to finish the race strong.
No matter how strong a single rider is, they cannot win on their own. They must ride with a peloton.
So instead of asking, “Who are my friends?” We need to start asking, “Who is in my peloton?” And: “Whose peloton am I in?”
Pelotons consist of your mentors and spiritual friends. They are the ones who make sure you’re not “carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning or by craftiness in deceitful schemes…”
“The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.” (Proverbs 12:26 NIV)
At EKKO, we have several Pelotons that are designed to help you mature in Christ.
How to start a Peloton:
- Initiate and DTR (define the relationship): You need an initiator or a “planter,” someone who can help define the relationship (ex: “This is a 6-week peloton.” “This is a Mom-Peloton.” “This is a Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu Peloton.”)
- Exercise and Practice: Be clear about expectations and commitments. Create a rhythm of meetings. Gather around a book, Bible, devotional. Create drills, disciplines, habits to do together and practice. Be prepared to share assignments.
- Confess and Celebrate: Be vulnerable and open up. Tell stories. Share prayer concerns and praise reports. Worship together and pray together. Serve and eat together.
Pray this with us this week:
One Lord,
One Faith,
One Baptism.
We are of one body and one spirit.
With one Hope,
One Race,
Toward our God, the Father of All.
You can listen to the sermon Platoon from the Ephesians series that inspired this post here.
All images and materials are copyright protected and are the property of EKKO Church unless otherwise noted and credited to their maker. Please do not copy or distribute without permission.
Love in Action
She gets the call just as she is preparing to leave to see her family in Big Bear. Two girls aged four and five years old are in desperate need of somewhere safe and warm to stay that night. The family, in the throes of getting evicted, has nowhere else to turn.
Within two hours, Jamie meets the mother at a Del Taco parking lot. Aside from the dual car seats, recently gifted winter coats, and one juice box, the daughters just have the clothes on their backs. There are no toys, no backpacks, no underwear or toothbrushes.
Their mother is quiet as she helps set up the car seats in the back of Jamieâs car. Once she finishes, she helps the girls in, says thank you, kisses the girls goodbye and drives away. The whole exchange lasts less than 10 minutes.
Jamie climbs into the driverâs seat and clicks her seatbelt on. She looks into the rearview mirror at the girls silently sitting in their seats. They donât say a word as they kick their tiny feet up and down on the elevated car seats. For the next several days, she is temporarily their legal guardian. Taking a deep breath, she begins to drive.
Jamie has wanted to partner with Safe Families since the third or fourth time she visited EKKO on Orphan Sunday. âThat Sunday was so impressionable to me as a visitor and spoke so much about what the church cared for,â Jamie says. That day, she began to catch the heart of orphan care and the mission of the Mary and Joseph Initiative. âI wanted to be a part of it as much as I wanted to be a part of EKKO.â
At EKKO, the Mary and Joseph Initiative exists to empower the local church to love the orphans and vulnerable families in our communities.
As she started to get plugged into EKKO, Jamie experienced herself being steeped in community for the first time. She found belonging. In the summer just before she entered Orthopraxis (EKKO’s introduction to discipleship), Jamieâs life was shaken to the core. Her sense of comfort and stability stripped from her in just a matter of days.
âIn that humbling time, the community at EKKO was so present. Not everyone knew that I was on food stamps and claiming unemployment, but people would invite me for a meal,â Jamie says. Through their faithful generosity, God provided for her. âI never had to worry,â Jamie continues, her eyes bright. âI felt such a sense of conviction of how true and faithful God is.”
While Jamie weathered one of the hardest seasons of her life, God remained constant. Through Ekko members providing simple and tangible acts of love, Jamie experienced Godâs faithfulness in true and profound ways. âIt meant so much to me, and I was inspired to do more in response.â
So as Jamie watches the mother drive away with her two children harbored in her warm car, she feels the weight of brokenness. She knows what it feels like to lose your footing overnight. To be unsure where your next meal would come. To not know how to pay your bills as they begin to pile in the mail.
That night, when she and the girls arrive in Big Bear, Jamie begins to realize that the girls are not necessarily shy, they are nonverbal. And during the ride, they had soiled their pants. Over the course of four days, Jamie tries to communicate through food and pointing. The girls, in a state of confusion and stress, oscillate from peaceful moments to violent tantrums.
In a particularly difficult evening in the bathroom when the girls refuse to be bathed, Jamie crouches down on the damp tiles to meet them at their level. âHow can I show Godâs love right now?â she prays to herself. Gently taking a damp cloth, she begins to wash their hot, tear-stained faces, recalling her own memories of feeling anxious, insecure and stripped of her stability.
It is in a phone call with their mother when she finds out that both of the girls are on the autism spectrum. While it is rare for families not to disclose this information, their parents were so scared no one would take their children if they were informed of their special needs. The sleepless nights and the difficulty communicating started to click into place for Jamie.
A blurry image finally shifted into focus.
While hosting is much harder than she anticipated in regards to laundry and the physical and mundane acts of cooking and feeding and playing, it is also richer in the quiet but moving acts of love and understanding. She begins to catch the heart of the Father in these moments. She recalls the many times that she cried out in anguish and confusion, to be met with His gentle and reassuring touch that He is safe.
That He is faithful and He sees her.
In those moments when she feels she is at the end of her abilities, frustrated and exhausted, still, she is able to give back in abundance what she has been given.
On the day Jamie returns the girls to their parents, their mother refuses to pick them up at the church where Jamie is serving that day. âWait, is this an address to a church?â the mother asks. âNo, I donât want to pick them up there. Can we meet somewhere else?â
When they decide to meet at a parking lot away from the entrance of the church, their story unfolds to reveal the pain lying just underneath the decimation of their current situation. The mother, a freelance web designer, has not been able to find a job in eight months, and as she was actively trying to find a job to support their family, they got evicted. While Jamie watched the girls for a few days, their parents went around Orange County to find shelters that accepted children. Not only had they lost the roof over their home, but they also had been abandoned by their faith community and their biological families.
âIâm so sorry you were hurt by your faith community,â Jamie says, âI know this is a hard time, but Iâm going to pray for you and believe that God will provide.â
They embrace and hold one another until their faces are wet with tears. âGod loves you. God sees you,â she prays into her ears, her spirit is full of faith while her heart continues to break.
The mother looks back at Jamie with tears in her eyes. âIâve never heard a Christian say that to me.â
Jamie waves goodbye to the family, ends her first hosting and returns to church. Her body weak from exhaustion, but her heart deepened â stretched with love for Godâs people, with anger against injustice, with frustration about a broken system that perpetuates homelessness and poverty.
âIt was hard giving these girls back knowing that they were going to go to a shelter. But, the love the mom had for her kids is so palpable. The circumstances were just terrible. They were trying all that they could to survive, just trying to maintain custody,â Jamie explains. âIt’s not comfortable, and it’s not easy. Committing as a member and as a Safe Family is hard work.â Through the experience of her first hosting, Jamie learns that yes, God is her provider, but He isnât about her contentment. âGod isn’t about my comfort. But His love is tangible, and Iâm learning that it’s truly a privilege to be His hands and His heart to love His people in this community.â
âI may be living paycheck to paycheck, but I can feed another mouth. That doesn’t need to be a worry for me.â
Since she became a member in 2017, Jamie has hosted five different times with different children finding solace in her home as a Safe Families Host. “There is so much joy to be learned from a child’s heart. To be brave, to embrace joy in the little things, to lean into vulnerability…” she says. “I didn’t anticipate the joy these children would bring.”
And through these experiences, our church is changed as well.
As a body, we get to catch the heart of God through our Safe Families hosts by having the opportunities to walk alongside Jamie as she opens her home. As Ekklesia leaders, MJI members, friends, and pastors, we get to partner with our hosts emotionally and financially to help foot the cost of gas, food, and activities.
It takes the body to love God’s world.
“Jesus said, âLove the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence.â This is the most important, the first on any list. But there is a second to set alongside it: âLove others as well as you love yourself.ââ
â Matthew 22:37-40 (MSG)
âLove is not a feeling, it is a decision and an action,â Jamie says, âSafe Families is an opportunity to radically practice love and allows our fellow communities to experience not only our own love for others but God’s love for them.â
The Mary and Joseph Initiative (MJI) at Ekko Church exists to love on the orphans and vulnerable families in our communities. We strive to educate our church about orphan care issues so that we can equip ourselves to be able to support those in our tribe who adopt, foster or serve as a host family. We want to participate in the mission that God calls us to care for the orphan and to carry the spirit of adoption.
Contact an MJI Team member to learn more about how to serve or support those partnering as a host family for Safe Families.
Safe Families for Children is a unique family preservation program that collaborates with local churches and volunteers to support children and parents navigating difficult circumstances such as unemployment, homelessness, hospitalization and addiction. Safe Families is a positive alternative to the child state welfare system and allows parents to arrange for their children to stay with a host family while they work through the issues that led to instability without the fear of losing custody. The program’s goal is to reunite children with their parents in a home that is healthy and stable.
Platoon
The Secret Ingredient
God wants us to grow up. (Ephesians 4:15 MSG)
Our mission statement at EKKO addresses a problem we face as Christians: that most people feel weak in their faith.
We often feel defeated or weak.
We’ve lost sensitivity to the Spirit.
We indulge in impure actions (like anger or fornication…)
We live lives of greed and are unwilling or unprepared to give of ourselves to others in our world.
We’ve been controlled by deceitful desires, instead of shaped by godly disciplines, rituals or habits.
Our feelings and attitudes dictate our days.
How did this happen? Why is our faith weak?
Our hearts have become hardened. So, how do we stop our hearts from getting hardened against God? The secret ingredient
What does it mean to Fear the Lord?
“It means to have God’s attitude toward sin, and to have a deep and healthy respect for his character and holiness.”
– Joy Dawson
The first ingredient to making sure our hearts don’t get hardened is the fear of the Lord, not love… nor obedience.
“And now, Israel, what does the LORD your God require of you? He requires only that you fear the Lord your God, and live in a way that pleases him, and love him and serve him with all your heart and soul.” (Deut. 10:12 NLT)
The Fear of the Lord includes reverence and respect, but it also includes actual fear and trembling. Yes, God is our loving God and Savior, but He’s also our Judge.
This isn’t just Old Testament or Old Covenant teaching. Jesus says this in the Gospel of Matthew, “Don’t be afraid of those who want to kill your body; they cannot touch your soul. Fear only God, who can destroy both soul and body in hell.”
God cares enough to bless and reward us (Hebrews 11:6), but he also cares enough to discipline us like a father to a child (Prov. 3:12).
In the book of Acts, we read about the first church that grew not only because of miracles but also because of the fear-of-the-Lord. It tells of a couple who drop dead because they lied to the Holy Spirit. Ananias and Sapphira claimed to have given all of their profits to the church.
“You lied to the Holy Spirit, and you kept some of the money for yourself. The property was yours to sell or not sell, as you wished. And after selling it, the money was also yours to give away. How could you do a thing like this? You werenât lying to us but to God!â As soon as Ananias heard these words, he fell to the floor and died.” (Acts 5:3-5 NLT)
As followers of God, we want miraculous healings and for God to intervene, but we do not want miraculous disciplines or God judging us.
If we desire His miracles, we must be open to judgment as well.
We cannot pick and choose Godâs intervention.
The Word for this Year: For us to become God-Fearing Men and Women.
Before we become God-fearing people, our tendencies are selfish. We often ask questions like, “How does this make me feel? Look?” “How does this affect relationships with those I like?” “How do I benefit?”
But as we become God-fearing people, our questions turn toward God’s heart and His desires. We begin to ask questions like, “How does this make God feel? How does this make Him look?” “How does this affect my relationship with God?” “How can I use this to benefit others?”
“May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.” (Psalm 19:14 NIV)
While the non-fearing person is conscious of self and man, the God-Fearing person is conscious of God.
Their biggest concern is grieving the Holy Spirit.
So how do we soften our hearts?
We must have a correct vision of Christ. We must cast away our false idol of Jesus. We must get into the Word of God.
The Lion & The Lamb
We often place too much emphasis on the loving, gracious and gentle side of our Savior. We focus too much on our Savior as the Lamb. But, Jesus is also wholly righteous and Holy. He is decisive and confrontational. We must see the dual nature of Jesus. To focus on one at the expense of the other gives an incomplete, and ultimately heretical, view of him.
This year, let’s ask God for the fear of the Lord.
âTeach me your way, O LORD, that I may walk in your truth; unite my heart to fear your name.â (Psalm 86:11 ESV)
Pray this with us:
I love and fear You.
You hold eternity in Your palms.
And my life is like dust.
I love and fear You.
It is You who weighs the breath in my lungs.
And yet, You care for me.
I love and fear You.
For You are wholly both.
You are the Lion
and the Lamb.
I love and fear you.
You are God.
And I am not.
You are my God.
Let’s get into the Word this year. Below you’ll find a number of resources and devotionals you can use to help you dive into God’s Word.
Devotionals:
- The Message Solo New Testament: An Uncommon Devotional
- The Ignatian Adventure: Experiencing the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius in Daily Life
- ESV Devotional Psalter
- New Morning Mercies: A Daily Gospel Devotional
Tools to Read the Bible Daily:
Books:
- Intimate Friendship with God: Through Understanding the Fear of the Lord
Joy of Fearing God- What is the Bible? How an Ancient Library of Poems, Letters, and Stories Can Transform the Way You Think and Feel About Everything
- Inspired: Slaying Giants, Walking on Water, and Loving the Bible Again
You can listen to the sermon The Secret Ingredient from the Ephesians series that inspired this post here.
All images and materials are copyright protected and are the property of EKKO Church unless otherwise noted and credited to their maker. Please do not copy or distribute without permission.