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What Happened to Us?

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth. In him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will, so that we who were the first to hope in Christ might be to the praise of his glory.  In him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit, who is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it, to the praise of his glory.” (Ephesians 1:3-14 ESV)

As a culture, we often care too much about the beginning of a love story. We ask couples to recount, “How did you meet?” But rarely do we ask of the daily, mundane choices of staying in love. And for good reason — the start is much more interesting than the daily workings of a relationship, but because of this, most often than not, we find ourselves on the other side of splits and separations, asking, “What happened?”

Alain De Botton, a well-known atheist philosopher, writes, “The start [of a love story] receives such disproportionate attention because it isn’t deemed to be just one phase among many; for the Romantic, it contains in a concentrated form everything significant about love as a whole. Which is why, in so many love stories, there is simply nothing else for the narrator to do with a couple after they have triumphed over a range of initial obstacles other than to consign them to an ill-defined contented future – or kill them off. What we typically call love is only the start of love.”

This is clearly illustrated in the wedding industry and culture surrounding engagements: “How did you propose?” How much time and energy is spent picking out the dress or decorations or invitations. How much effort do we actually put in to invest for the cultivation of the marriage, after we say “I Do.”

Why do we spend so much to get to the beginning of love, but not on sustaining love?

“We seem to know far too much about how love starts, and recklesly little about how it might continue.”

— Alain De Botton

Instead, love is a skill that must be learned. As Botton writes, we must stop seeing love as an enthusiasm, but as something we must learn and choose.

In the letter to the Ephesians, Paul is exhorting the church in Ephesus. They had a promising start. Luke even mentions the church in Acts 19:20, saying: “So the word of the Lord grew and prevailed mightily.”

But like love stories, good churches sometimes go bad.

Eugene Peterson explains, “Ephesus has become a mess. Good churches go bad. Surprisingly, sinners show up. Wonderful beginnings can end up in terrible catastrophes. Not only can they, they do. Ephesus, the poster church, did.”

We do this in our relationship with Jesus as well. We care so much about our conversion stories, but so little about the daily, cross-bearing, sanctifying work of being in communion with Jesus.

So what can we learn about what happened to the church of Ephesus? How did this poster church go wayward?

We can gather clues from 1 Timothy, which explain how they went from the doctrine of Christ to “myths and endless genealogies.” (1 Tim. 1:4). He continues by describing it as lying or “unhealthy craving for controversy and quarrels about words…”

Their religion became about talking about feelings and fictions, instead of faith.

“For the Kingdom of God is not just a lot of talk; it is living by God’s power.”

— 1 Corinthians 4:20

The Ephesians used to be about Jesus and Him crucified.

This truth informed every decision and shaped their lives.

But somewhere along the way, they stopped working on their love story with God and focused instead on their feelings and fictions.

So how do we learn from Ephesus, and stay in love with God?

In Revelations, Jesus tells the church of Ephesus to “repent and do the works you did at first.”

What was it they did at first? They kept it about Jesus, the Cross, and kept digging into all the truth you find in it. They kept their focus on the one thing that mattered: Jesus and the Cross.

“For I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and him crucified.”  (1 Corinthians 2:2 ESV)

Soren Kierkegaard says, “To be a saint is to will the one thing.”

The Ephesians used to primarily focus on God’s glory and the gospel. Their one thing used to be about Jesus.

Thomas Aquinas says, “every choice is a renunciation.” Meaning, every decision you make either propels you in this race toward Christ, or knocks you off of it.

So perhaps the question isn’t “How did you meet God?” or “What is your testimony?” We should ask: “How has the gospel changed you lately?” and “How relevant is the cross for you lately? Do you feel you still need it?”

Botton also writes, “To have made any progress will mean looking back on who we were last year with a degree of embarrassment.”

We can adapt this to our faith lives as “To have made any progress in our love for God will mean looking bak on who were last year and think, ‘How could I have thought I was not more of a sinner than I realize today? How could I have thought I needed to pray so little, love so little, keep the cross so little.'”

This cross, the gospel of Christ, is more welcomed today that ever for we must grow in our realization of the depth of our depravity.

When Paul says that he was the worst of sinners, he’s not saying he became a greater sinner over time as he got close to God. He’s saying that he is growing in his awareness of his sinfulness as he gets closer to God.

“We must pay the most careful attention, therefore, to what we have heard, so that we do not drift away.”

— Hebrews 2:1

We don’t want to just have a great start to our story, we want a great ending too.

Pray this prayer this week with us:

Jesus, I bring my need to You.

I confess that You alone are my sufficiency.

Where I only bring want,

You bring fullness.

What You have started,

Only You can finish.

You alone are the Author and Perfecter of my faith,

Each day, I need more of You, and less of me

In Jesus’ name.

Amen

You can listen to the sermon, What Happened To Us, that inspired this post.

Read more of Alain De Botton‘s work.