(You can find Part I to this series, here.)
Apostle Paul writes in Ephesians 4:3, “Make every effort to keep yourselves unified in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace.”
When we are united, marriage has the potential to preach and plant seeds of the gospel in the world.
The world will know that we are Christ followers by the way we are unified in our marriages and by our love for one another. This is the greatest gift that we can offer our children.
So why is it so hard to stay unified?
The problem is: Unity in marriage is jeopardized by a lack of respect and a lack of love.
In the first part of this mini-series, we delved into submission.
The second way we stay unified is to love one another.
So what is love?
And how do we love?
“Love is patient and kind…”
— 1 Corinthians 13:4
Patience is the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset.
Apostle Paul says it like this: “Love… is not easily angered.”
How do you know if you are loving to your spouse? You can ask yourself, “How easily do I get annoyed and angered by my spouse?”
Love is willfully tolerating and enduring (and overlooking) your spouse’s annoying attributes or mistakes.
Love is the practice of long-suffering.
— Pastor Bryan
In a painting by Stanley Spencer, we see the image of Christ holding scorpions in His hands. We are reminded when we look at this painting of Christ, of His swollen hand and of His compassionate eyes. Even when stung, He doesn’t pull back. He doesn’t withhold His presence.
He still offers His embrace.
This is the model of love that we can follow.
Love never says, “I give up. You’re hopeless.”
Because, love never gives up.
Instead, love says, “Let’s try that again.”
But this is often harder said than done. We often get impatient because we keep records of wrongs. We have a habit of holding onto mistakes, sins or shortcomings – especially those of our spouse – and hold it against them.
“Love… it keeps no record of wrongs.”
— 1 Corinthians 13:5
How do we know we keep records of wrongs? We often say things like:
- “You always…”
- “You never…”
- “How come every time…”
- “When will you stop…”
- “I’m so tired of your….”
But love is having a bad memory of your partner’s mistakes.
Love is being patient like God, who doesn’t treat us as our sins deserve.
“God is sheer mercy and grace; not easily angered, he’s rich in love. He doesn’t endlessly nag and scold, nor hold grudges forever. He doesn’t treat us as our sins deserve, nor pay us back in full for our wrongs. As high as heaven is over the earth, so strong is his love to those who fear him. And as far as sunrise is from sunset, he has separated us from our sins.” (Psalm 103:8-12 MSG)
Our spouses need us to be like artists, not accountants.
Artists help to chip away at what doesn’t belong, to allow the real you emerge. They edit and edify you.
Accountants are critical. They catch errors and expose. They correct.
Love is being like an artist.
Unity is an art, not a science.
Love, “puts up with anything, Trusts God always, Always looks for the best, Never looks back, But keeps going to the end.”
— 1 Corinthians 13:7 MSG
The world’s most famous statue was made from a rejected block of marble.
It was first commissioned in 1464. The first artist abandoned the project. In 1476 another artist was hired to take over the project. But he backed out of the project due to him deeming the marble to be of poor quality! It wasn’t until 1501, a young 26-year-old sculptor was hired to do something with the marble.
“I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free.”
— Michelangelo
Michelangelo saw the treasure, David, in the poor quality marble and set it free.
Marriage is like this: It’s seeing the treasure in the person.
Love is practicing the art of patience towards your spouse, chipping away at all that does not belong and helping the person emerge out of stone.
It is seeing and believing what God sees in the person and lovingly walking alongside and working with our spouse.
Homework Assignment for married couples:
When sisters at Mount St. Scholastica begin their workday together, they face the other assigned to work with them that day and bow to one another.
And then they would say, “As Jesus would want it, have patience with me.”
Every morning this week, face each other, bow and ask for patience from your spouse.Â
Prayer of the week:
May I be patient,
May I be kind,
May I be forgetful of mistakes.
As You have been patient with me.
As You have shown kindness to me.
As You have forgotten my mistakes.
May I love
As You have loved me.
Amen.
You can listen to the sermon Becoming and Staying One Pt. II from the Ephesians series that inspired this post here.
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